| Michelle 的个人资料elf des bois照片日志列表 |  工具  帮助 |
|
|
2008/9/27 My anecdote Ⅱ在欧洲待了一段时间，Fish笑说以我的性格不发生一些糗事简直是没有可能的，哎，果然不出她所料，没办法，本性如此，其实迷糊也是种生活乐趣啊，做人有时候不用太较真，轻松一点就好。
事件一：
事件二：
那位大叔的也挺有绅士风度地探出头来对我说“小姐，你有急事吗，我可以载你一程”。此时此刻的我哪还有心思再坐进去，恨不得马上变成一只鼹鼠遁地而逃，对于大叔的好意我只能捂着脸说：“不用了，不用了，谢谢你。”边说边飞一样地跑着离开了，我想当时我的脸肯定比番茄还红，真是糗毙了！！！
事件三：
事件四：
事件五：
事件六：
这些糗事从此成为T帅哥茶余饭后取笑我的谈资，当然了，他肯定不敢去取笑女友Chris，于是就整天拿我来开涮，真讨厌…大脑短路嘛，谁人没有？尤其是在工作压力很大的时候，那段时间我和Chris还发生了很多好笑的事情和“暴强的CM语录”呢，这些以后再慢慢写出来吧。其实人生在世不用处处精明，有时难得糊涂也是种放松，只要掌握好大事不迷糊这个尺度就好，不是吗？ 2008/4/16 Dialogue Ⅱ在巴黎往兰斯的列车上：
M：真的好享受我们这样的时光 T：听起来你们好像很压抑 C：那有你那么精彩，还希腊MM… M：噢，那个希腊MM到底是何许人也，竟然这么有本事令我们喜欢留连花丛的Thierry哥哥像初恋少年般羞涩？ C： M：哈哈哈哈~ T：笑笑笑，小心呛死你！再乱说我就把你们扔出去！ M：说啦~我们很好奇呢。 T：不说！ M：哼~不说就算！Chris，我们在布鲁塞尔应该会遇到那个MM吧？你不是学过一年的希腊语吗？ T：你敢？！ C：怎么啊？我们交友妨碍你了？ T：没…没…我投降…对着你们我还能说什么呢？是了，你们打算怎么应付老头子的宴会？ C：没摆在心上，怎么，想转移话题了吗？ T：没想对策吗？ M：现在想太多都是空想，倒不如在那时候才见招拆招，你还知道什么？ T：我知道的都和你们说了啊 C：那么看来Thierry还是有良心的，不会卖妹求荣。 M：良心嘛，他还是有一点的，不过也逃不了同谋的嫌疑，呵呵。 C：那他现在也算是将功补过通风报信了 T： M：谁教你这句话？ C：就是，得罪我们能有多严重呢，顶多不就是和那个希腊MM聊一下天嘛。 M：Chris，你是以什么身份去？“正宫娘娘”还是传闻女友？ C：都可以，反正都传了这么久的传闻，我才不介意呢，或许你到时也可以参一脚，哈哈！ M：不用了，那太复杂，我们不要将事情复杂化。 T：你们放过我吧，我也是被迫哄你们去赴宴。 M：Chris，你说通常叛徒的下场是怎样呢？ C：我们不是有各个公司的contact list吗？要找希腊MM也不是件难事，或许我们应该和她say hi。 T：不要！！！ M：不打电话？可以~但是要看你在兰斯的表现了。 T：喂，以你们的才智轻易摆平老头子所设的饭局根本不是问题啦。 C：别和我们谈条件，谁叫你和老爷子是一路的。 T：哎…你们中国不是有句古话“两国交兵，不斩来使”吗？ C：你是来使？不见得吧？ T：我是无辜的 M：我更无辜 T： 2008/4/12 Dialogue Ⅰ周五MSN的一段对话：(T--Thierry M--Michelle C--Chris)
C：Thierry，好久不见！ M：是啊，应该有差不多一个月了吧？ T：终于看到你们！最近忙什么？害我在雅典无聊得很，收到email没？ M：没忙什么啊，看到了，Thierry兄的中文越来越进步了哦~ T：还好意思说，晚上都不见你们上线，想叫你们帮忙修改一下presentation里面的英文文法都不行！ C：现在不是帮你在看咯 T：有没有语法错误？ M：没有啊，80页耶！都是你写的？不错嘛！ T：真的没有？要看清楚一点啊！ M：如果真要讲究的话，有几个地方还可以再修饰一下，presentation不同写作，简洁明了就好。 C：不就一份presentation嘛，干嘛突然这么紧张？嘿嘿，有企图。 T：我只想力求完美 C：听说Thierry在雅典分公司遇到个漂亮MM，不知道她是不是这次会议的座上客？ T：那又怎样？ C：如果这样的话，紧张就很正常啦，放心，我们一定会帮你把这份英文presentation修改得无懈可击，让你在美女面前有个好印象。 M： T：别乱说，快专心校正！ M： C：那干脆和她说：小姐若不嫌弃在下，我们一起私奔吧！ M： C：随他们喜欢去哪里就那里咯 M：也是，但是来巴黎之前要通知一声，我会很识相地闪的远远的，怎样Thierry兄？ T： M：帅哥？没交集。喂，老爷子现在在巴黎，你过不过来？还是直接去兰斯？ T：你们不是和他一起去？ M：他今天就回兰斯了，那你呢？ C：M，老爷子家乡不是Annecy吗？ M：Annecy是他父母居住的地方，他和孙儿们住在兰斯。 C：哦，原来如此。 T：那我明天过来吧，老爷子有没有说这次为什么请我们去他家作客？ M：没有，难道你知道？ T：我听说老家伙想把他两个侄子介绍给你们。 M： T：我无意中听到 C：这个老爷子看来真是太闲了 M： T：M，你和Chris什么时候去布鲁塞尔交流学习？ M：下周 T：我也要去阿姆斯特丹交流学习，一起吧！ M：嗯 2005/8/12 The interesting proof ( Just for fun )Proof 1: Man=Angel The first: we are clear to know that the man and woman are together just for love and satisfy man's lascivious heart. That: Man= Love+ Sex As we know: “Cupid is an angel” Therefore: Love= Cupid = Angel Men =Angel + Sex Again we hear that “sex is empty” in Buddhism. That: Sex=0 Therefore: Man= Angel+0 Finally we have conclusion: Man= Angel
Proof 2: Girl = devil At first, we know that we must spend time and money when we stay with girls That: Girl = Time × Money At the same time, we still know “time is money" Time = Money Therefore: Girl= Money × Money= (Money)2 We are very clear to know, “money is the roof of evil” Money =( devil )1/2 Therefore: Girl = {(devil)1/2}2 Then we have conclusion: Girl = Devil
证明题： 男人 = 天使 首先我们清楚男人和女人在一起只是为了满足爱与满足男人的好色之心 那 男人 = 爱 + 色 其实我们都知道：“爱神丘比特是一个天使” 因此 爱 = 丘比特 = 天使 男人 = 天使 + 色 再次我们听过佛教的一句话“色即是空” 得出 色 = 0 因此 男人 = 天使 + 0 最后我们得出一个无法争辩事实： 男人 = 天使
证明题 ： 女孩 = 恶魔 首先，我们知道，和女孩交往要时间和金钱 就是 女孩 = 时间 ※ 金钱 同时，我们还知道，“时间就是金钱”， 时间 = 金钱 所以 女孩 = 金钱 ※ 金钱 = (金钱) 2 我们还很清楚的知道：“钱是万恶之根” 金钱 = ( 恶魔 ) 1/2 所以 女孩 = { (恶魔)1/2}2 这样，我们被迫得出一个结论： 女孩 = 恶魔 2005/7/25 Training Courses for Men ( Just for fun )1. Introduction to common household objects I: The Mop
普通家务入门第一课：拖把
2. Introduction to common household objects II: The Sponge
普通家务入门第二课：海绵
3. Dressing up: Beyond the funeral and the wedding
学会在葬礼和婚礼之外的衣着
4. Refrigerator forensics: Identifying and removing the dead
冰箱辨别术: 学会辨别和除去变质的东西
5. Design pattern or splatter stain on the linoleum? : You can tell the difference!
是设计样式还是地毡上的油渍污点? : 你要能说出它们之间的区别!
6. If it’s empty, you can throw it away
如果它是空的, 你就要扔掉它
7. If the Milk expired three weeks ago, keeping it in the refrigerator won't bring it back
如果牛奶过期三星期了，就不要把它放在冰箱，要扔掉
8. Going to the supermarket: It's not just for women anymore!
去超级市场再不仅仅是妇女的专利
9. Recycling skills I: Boxes that the electronics came in
回收技能I: 电子产品包装盒可以回收
10. Recycling skills II: Styrofoam that came in the boxes that the electronics came in
回收技能II : 塑料可以做成盒子再用来包装电子产品
11. Bathroom etiquette I: How to remove beard clippings from the sink
浴室礼节I: 怎样清除藏在水池缝隙的须根
12. Bathroom etiquette II: Let's wash those towels!
浴室礼节II: 清洗毛巾
13. Bathroom etiquette III: Find a easy way to tell when you're about to run out of toilet paper!
浴室礼节III: 用简易的方式告诉别人你已经用尽卫生纸!
14. Giving back to the community: How to donate 15-Year-Old Levis to goodwill
回馈社会: 怎样善意的去捐赠15年前的Levis牌牛仔裤
15. Retro? Or just hideous? Re-examining your 1970s polyester shirts
是怀旧还是难看？ 看看你那些70 年代的衬衫
16. No, the dishes won't wash themselves: Knowing the limitations of your kitchenware
碗碟是不会自动清洗，你要知道你厨房用具的局限性
17. Romance: More than a cable channel!
要比有线电视频道浪漫！
18. Strange but true! She really may not care what "Fourth Down and Ten" means
好奇怪！她并不真正地关心足球术语的意思
19. Going out to dinner: Beyond the Pizza Hut
出去晚餐，但不是去Pizza Hut
20. Expand your entertainment options: Renting movies that don't fall under the "Action/Adventure" category or selecting movies that don't star John Wayne on television
扩展你的娱乐选择: 租赁不属于"动作/历险" 类别的电影或选择不是约翰・韦恩担任主角的电影
21. Yours, mine, and ours: Sharing the remote
你的，我的，我们的，都是很微细的区别
22. Adventures in housekeeping I: Let's clean the closet
家务管理冒险经历I:让我们清理壁橱
23. Adventures in housekeeping II: Let's clean under the bed
家务管理冒险经历II:让我们清理床底
24. "I don't know": Be the first man to say it!
“我不知道”是男人的口头禅
25. The gas gauge in your car: Sometimes empty means empty
汽车气压表：有时空的就是空的
26. Directions: It's okay to ask for them
提示: 你可以去问询
27. Listening: It's not just something you do during halftime
注意：这两件事你不能只做一件的
28. Accepting your limitations: Just because you have power tools doesn't mean you can fix it
接受你的局限性：你有电动工具并不意味着你可以修理好 2005/7/22 Secrets for women (Just for fun,hope you will like it)1. Women need to cry. And they won’t do it alone unless they know you can hear them. 女人需要哭泣,并且只有在你能听到时才哭。 2. Women especially love a bargain. 女人特别喜欢便宜货。 3. Women love to shop. It is the only area of the world where they feel like they’re actually in control. 女人喜欢购物,她们觉得那是她们在这个世界上能控制的惟一领域。 4. Women will always ask questions that have no center answers, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty. 女人总是问一些没有正确答案的问题,她们想使你有犯罪感。 5. Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say. 女人喜欢交谈。沉默使她们不安,她们需要用交谈打破沉默,即使她们没什么可说的。 6. Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. 女人需要感觉到别人不如她们。 7. Women hate bugs. Even the strong willed ones need a man around when there’s a spider or a wasp involved. 女人讨厌虫子。当看到一只蜘蛛或黄蜂时,即使意志力很强的女人也需要一个男人在身旁。 8. Women can’t keep secrets. 女人不能保守秘密。 9. Women always go to public rest rooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip. 女人经常结伴去公共卫生间,这是她们闲谈的好机会。 10.Women can＇t refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she’s doing. 女人不会拒绝接听任何来电。电话铃一响,不论正在做什么,她都会去接电话。 11. Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that they wouldn’t need toys if women had an ″on／off″ switch. 女人永远不会明白男人为什么喜欢玩具。男人认为,如果女人有开关,他们就不再需要玩具了。 12. Women think all beer is the same. 女人觉得所有品牌的啤酒都是一个味儿。 13. Women keep three different shampoos in the shower. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest. 通常女人的浴室里总放着3种不同的洗发水。她们沐浴后,浴室就散发着热带雨林的味道。 14. Women don’t understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment that allows them to escape reality. Women seek entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things could be. 女人不能领略体育节目的魅力。男人从那些能让他们逃离现实的东西中寻找娱乐,女人则从那些能提醒她们现实有多糟糕的东西中寻找娱乐。 15. If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he’ll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice；If a woman goes on a seven-day trip she’ll pack 21 outfits because she doesn’t know what she’ll feel like wearing each day. 如果一个男人要出门7天,他会带够5天穿的衣服,并且会将一些衣物穿两次。如果一个女人要出门7天,她会带够21天穿的衣服,因为她不知道自己每天喜欢穿什么。 16. Women brush their hair before bed. 女人在睡觉前梳头。 17.Women are paid less than men, except for one field：Model. 女人的薪水比男人低,只有一个行业例外——模特。 18. Women are never wrong. Apologizing is the man’s responsibility. 女人永远不会犯错。道歉是男人的责任。 19. Women do not know anything about cars, even if they drive car themselves. 女人对汽车一无所知,即使她们自己开车。 20. Women have better rest rooms. They get the nice chairs and red carpet. 女人的卫生间很讲究,那里有精致的椅子和红地毯。 21. Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick cats. 女人喜欢猫。男人说他们喜欢猫,但当女人看不见的时候,他们就会踢猫。 22. Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours. 女人喜欢煲电话粥。一个女人去看她的女朋友,她们一起生活了两个星期,她刚刚回家便会给这个女朋友打电话,她们会聊上3个小时。 23. A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail. 女人做什么事之前都会化妆——购物、浇花、倒垃圾、接电话、读书、收邮件。 24.Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, ″How do I look？″ 在这个问题上女人不想得到诚实的答案——“我看上去怎么样？” 25. ″Oh, nothing. ″has an entirely different meaning in woman-language than it does in man-language. “哦,没什么。”这句话在女人的字典里的意思和在男人字典里的完全不同。 26. All women will say that they are overweight, but don’t agree with them about it. 所有女人都会说自己超重,但千万别对此表示赞同。 27. Only women understand the need for ″guest towels″ and the ″good china″. 只有女人知道为什么“客用毛巾”和“好瓷器”是必要的。 28. Women want equal centers, but you rarely hear them clamoring to cover the responsibilities that go with those centers. 女人要求享有与男人同样的权利,但你几乎听不到她们吵嚷着要求承担和男人同样的责任。 29. Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting. This will get men arrested. 面对超速行驶的罚单,噘嘴可以使女人免于处罚,却会使男人被拘留。 30. Women don’t really care about a sense of humor in a guy despite claims to the contrary. 女人并不真的在乎男人是否有幽默感,尽管她们声称幽默感很重要。 31. Women will spend hours dressing up to go out, and then they’ll go out and spend more time checking out other women. Men can never catch women checking out other men；Women will always catch men checking out other women. 女人在出门前将花费数小时化妆,然后她们出门,花更多时间注视其他女人。男人永远不会察觉女人注视着其他男人,而女人总能察觉男人注视着其他女人。 32. The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another woman wearing the same dress at a formal party. 最让女人尴尬的,就是在一个正式的聚会上发现另一个女人穿着和自己同样的衣服。 2005/6/25 The problems with guysIf you treat him nicely, he says you are in love with him. If you don't, he says you are proud. If you dress nicely, he says you are trying to lure him. If you don't, he says you are from kampong. If you argue with him, he says you are stubborn. If you keep quiet, he says you have no brains. If you are smarter than him, he'll lose face. If he's smarter than you, he is great. If you don't love him, he tries to possess you. If you love him, he will try to leave you. (very true huh?) If you don't make love with him. he says you don't love him. If you do!! He says you are cheap. If you tell him your problem, he says you are troublesome. If you don't, he says that you don't trust him. If you scold him, you are like a nanny to him. If he scolds you, it is because he cares for you. If you break your promise, you cannot be trusted. If he breaks his, he is forced to do so. If you smoke, you are bad girl. If he smokes, he is gentlemen. If you do well in your exams, he says it's luck. If he does well, it's brains. If you hurt him, you are cruel. If he hurts you, you are too sensitive!! And soon hard to please!!!!! If you send this to guys, they will swear that it's not true.......but if you don't, they say you are selfish..... 2005/6/21 Funny advertising sentences1. Money is not everything. There’s MasterCard & Visa. 2. One should love animals. They are so tasty. 3. Love the neighbor. But don’t get caught. 4. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. 5. Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. 6. The wise never marry, and when they marry they become otherwise. 7. Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. 8. Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today. 9. Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop. 10. Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children. 11. "Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep. 12. There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning. 13. "Hard work never kills anybody." But why take the risk? " 14. "Work fascinates me." I can look at it for hours! " 15. God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends. 16. When two‘s company, three’s the result! 17. A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view. 18. The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn. 2005/6/8 Humor of love1. Love is like war, easy to begin but hard to end. 2. Love opens your chest and opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. 3. Does God punish or reward us with love? 4. Love your neighbor, but don't get caught. 5. I love a hand that meets my own with a grasp that causes some sensation. 6. The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost. 7 Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away. 8. If you judge people, you have no time to love them. 9. A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love. 10. At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet. 11. Sometimes the perfect person for you is the one you least expect. 12. How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. 13. The Eskimos have 52 words for snow because it is so special for them; there ought to be as many for love! 14. If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving one be me. 15. When two eyes meet and hold strongly, they are bound to meet again. 16. I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. 17. Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. 18. To love is to be vulnerable. 19. Love at first sight never happens before breakfast. 20. To love is not to look at one another, but to look together in the same direction. 21. I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth. 22. My love is like an ocean; it goes down so deep. My love is like a rose; whose beauty you want to keep. 23. All shall be well, and Jack shall have Jill. 24. First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity. 25. When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out. 26. Came but for friendship, and took away love. 27. For, you see, each day I love you more, today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow. 28. Love doesn't sit there like a stone. It has to be made like bread; remade all the time. Made new. 29. A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. 30. Life is a flower of which love is the honey. 2005/6/7 Just for fun
Dear white, something you got to know
When I was born, I was black.
When I grow up, I am black.
When I'm under the sun, I'm black.
When I'm cold, I'm black.
When I'm afraid, I'm black.
When I'm sick, I'm black.
When I die, I'm still black.
You---white people,
When you were born, you were pink.
When you grow up, you become white.
You're red under the sun.
You're blue when you're cold.
You are yellow when you're afraid.
You're green when you're sick.
You're gray when you die.
And you call me "color"?
2005/4/17 Just for fun hope you would enjoy it1. A daughter sent a telegram to her father on passing her B.Ed exams, which the father received as "Father, your daughter has been successful in BED." 3. A man wanted to celebrate his wife's Birthday by throwing a party. So he ordered a birthday cake. The salesman asked him what message he wanted put on the cake. He thought for a moment and said put "you are getting older but you are getting better". The salesman asked "how do you want me to put it?" The man said Well...put "You are getting older" at the top and "but you are getting better" at the bottom. When the cake was unveiled at the party all the guests were aghast at the message on the cake. It reads "You are getting older at the top, but you are getting better at the bottom"
|
有次我去
有天上班我去银行办业务之后又要赶着回公司开会，站在街上远远地看到一辆和
我在马德里的超级市场买东西结帐时看到收款机上显示
还是在马德里了，我自知西语不光灵，也就很少一个人去逛街，在小公寓憋了一段时间后终于忍不住想在马德里晃晃，临出发前我还特意把小公寓的地址抄在纸条上确保万无一失，但无奈最后我还是迷路了，于是操着不甚光灵的西语去问人。有个西班牙
记得有次我和
有天我们下班有说有笑地回到小公寓时，却发现门锁怎么打也打不开，当时我们很疑惑，莫非是房东换了锁？正当我俩站在门口兴致勃勃地轮着去研究怎么开锁时，突然身后响起一把低沉的男音：“小姐们，请问你们在干什么？”我头也不回地回答：“我们在开门回家”男声有点惊讶：“但是这里是我家啊。”什么？！突然我意识到有点不对劲，转身望着那位男士：“这里不是三楼吗？”“这里是二楼”
|
|
